a Negro infidel quest for freedom, justice and equality

Dear Mama – I’m Atheist and Gay!

In Uncategorized on June 27, 2010 at 12:15 am

Gosh,  I know that some things are best left untold, but then there are moments like this.

Sunday probably wasn’t the perfect time but it just slipped out; it slipped out due to total frustration. Mama can really pick till it hurts. “Mama, I don’t believe in God, Jesus nor Mary,” I said with a strong and assertive voice tone. Mama turned to face me with a look that would cut glass. I was thinking Lawd Jezzus, did I really just say that?   That quick moment of silence was mama’s declaration of war that would likely last forever.

Instantly  Mama hit the floor screaming repeatedly lawd jeezus what did I do wrong. I bent down to help mama off the floor  and outta no where came these words, ” mama I’m gay too; therefore, I’m not getting married to a woman, nor producing the grand kids you constantly badger me about over and over again.”

Now, mama had a look on her face that she was staring the anti-christ in the eye.   Mama collapsed back to the floor crying and screaming out the 23 psalm.   My older brother and Uncle came running into the kitchen, helping mama up and asking what’s wrong. She quickly jerks away  from me screaming get off of me you demon.  I quickly let her arm go and said y’all take her and I walked away.

I wasn’t a bit concerned about her well being; mama can fall out and roll around at church, so this little drama show gave me no alarm.  As I approach the door, I heard Mama shout for me to get out her house.  The son leaves and never returns to mama’s house.

The above is a true excerpt of a friends coming out to mama.  Yes, that was a bit much to swallow at one serving but he was tired of mama’s comments ref. girls, marriage, grand children, and that damn Black church.  Mama knew her son was gay, but never mentioned it, and most likely a non believer in the Lawd and Savior she calls her lover and forever deeply in love with.  “What I didn’t tell Mama that day was that she’ll never have a husband because she’s more in love with Jezzus than  she would ever be with a black man. I often wonder what she would’ve done. ”  Yes, the truth is a hard pill to swallow!

Dear Mama – I do love you, but…


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