a Negro infidel quest for freedom, justice and equality

Posts Tagged ‘glbt’

Pastor Long’s Sex Tape and Not All Pastor’s Seduce nor Coerce

In Uncategorized on September 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

I can hear the back and forward motion of church fans across the country,  steadily increasing as the temperature rises, upon anticipation of the latest hot News: a sex tape on a cell phone of pastor Long and a NEW Long Fellow mentee to hit the streets this week.   Long error is his hypocrisy and abuse of power only – not his homosexual desires.

Long’s is VERY different than most black pastors with same sex attraction(SSS) who stand behind the pulpit.  Long’s  over-the-top largess and powerful influences differentiates him far apart from the norm.  All of which feed a self-focus, an egotism, a narcissism that leads him to believe that, that he can do whatever he want. He’s invincible. And there will be no consequences.

Long’s scandal certainly has a few of my former pastor friends and past clergy lovers digging deeper into the DL closet.

Following CNN host Don Lemmons, who revealed a past secret, I feel the need to speak out on behalf of many same gender loving black pastors, on the down low, who do not abuse their position and are real men of integrity.    I’ve said it before, I know too many pulpit pastors with same sex secrets(SSS).   And yes, I’ve dated a few pastors, slept with a few and been in a long-term monogamous relationship too.

At the age of 19, I was that sang’n choir boy who traveled with the senior pastor  as a musical compliment, part-time assistant, and mentee.   Pastor didn’t coerce nor seduce me; he saw something within me that  I couldn’t see:  an unaware , gay, young man.   However, I was coerced and seduced repeatedly, but not by pastor or any male — it was the females who were doing the seducing and coercing. I was new, attractive, young, working,  attending college,  and a good singer.

I’ll never forget when I brought my girlfriend to church.  Actually, pastor encouraged me to bring her often.  But soon I succumbed to the manipulative women of the church; I repeatedly cheated on my girlfriend with other women( much older women) from my church and surrounding churches.

My senior pastor was a renaissance man: degreed,  well read, intelligent, and extremely funny.  I guarnered regional prestige and status when traveling with pastor; he was a well known man of God in the surrounding area and  known for bringing a dead church alive with his dynamic personality and skill, to include,  ALWAYS accompanied by a slamming vocal arrangement from a quartet to full choir.  Certainly, Pastor was envied.  It was later  I discovered that pastor would show me off ( sport me as his shelf piece/toy boy) to his SSS counterparts from neighboring church and around the state.  Yes, the choir boy role was flattering with such attention; however, at retreats and conferences, some of the advances by participants were a bit strong and obvious, although harmless; nevertheless, by then, I knew that homosexual men ruled the gospel music scene.

I eventually dumped my girlfriend and continued my sexual exploration with much older women from the churches.  As I look back, I kept fu*#ing to subconsciously prove my heterosexuality.   But then she came along.  She was tall, fine, chocolate, and very feminine.  We dated and quickly became an item.  Never shall I  forget her; she was the last women I dated and the last female I had sex with.  When having sex with her I began to fantasize about sex with men while hitting it from the back.   I knew then, No more!  My church sexcapades with church ladies were over. And once again, I dumped a beautiful girlfriend for a sabbatical  to discover my true sexuality.

And pastor was still there awaiting my sexual awareness arrival.  I admired pastor because he had not tried to coarse me into a sexual orientation that I wasn’t ready to admit existed within me.  Then, nearly 22 years old, I went to my first gay club. And in that setting, absolutely, without doubt, I knew my sexual orientation.  I told a female friend, while inside this club, that I’m gay.  She was happy for me .  And I was happy too.  Soon my gaydar skills became sharpened and I saw my church world in a whole new light.  I had a safe place to come out to myself and an entrance into a network of a special secret order of same gender loving clergy and others.

The anti-gay message causes more harm by pushing gay, lesbian, bi and questioning congregants and officials deeper undercover (DL). They, hide behind the pulpit, first lady, and the word -not hoping God make them new again, but PRAYING not to get caught.

Saints, I know what I’m talking about!!! This ain’t speculation, or pontification – it’s conclusive, creditable, and confirmed.

Too often I think of Donnie McClurklin, Rev. DL Foster and others who are professed ex-gays; they are fooling no one! Black church folks know God doesn’t  change sexual orientation. I know first hand the struggles they endure and the life-long torment. Such is a cross I’d never care to bare.  However, realistically, it’s too late to turn back for many pastors, due to so much at stake to lose.

I told a gay COGIC  pastor, and partner, to simply give it up – if he’s so unhappy. He said, “I can’t – that’s all I know.” I eventually relinquished the relationship because he knew all about church but very little about himself. Today, he remains behind the pulpit – tormented.

Today, I’m a secular humanist because I simply do not believe the lies; I stopped drinking the kool aid.   I continue to love  gospel music but I extract its positive philosophical message and discard the biblical content.

Unequivocally, Eddie Long is guilty.  Unlike my former senior pastor and many others, Long utilized his power and mentorship to feed a self-focus, an egotism, a narcissism that leads him to believe that, that he can do whatever he want. He’s invincible. And there will be no consequences.

I’m writing because not all pastor with SSS are manipulative;  most are wise men watching over us younger journeymen.  They remember their own road toward enlightenment and wish to help somebody as they pass along.


DADT Smacked Down

In Uncategorized on September 10, 2010 at 3:58 am

Obama is near to meeting yet another campaign promise: the repeal of DADT. Now we shall see.

A federal judge on Thursday, 9.9.10, declared the U.S. military’s ban on openly gay service members unconstitutional and said she will issue an order to stop the government from enforcing the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy nationwide. U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips said the ban violates the First and Fifth Amendment rights of gays and lesbians. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” prohibits the military from asking about the sexual orientation of service members but requires discharge of those who acknowledge being gay or are discovered engaging in homosexual activity, even in the privacy of their own homes off base.

The US Dept. of Justice has the opportunity to appeal, but Obama has always had the power of the pen to end DADT. Will he keep the promise? Nevertheless, congress has support to make their decision that much more easier. This is truly a Restoring Honor moment.:-)

So, what’s the Right gonna say now? Between marriage equality and now DADT vanishing, what on God’s green earth could happen next? A Koran burning party?

Call to Action: Call on ABC’s “The View” to Retract Hosts’ Damaging Myths about African American Gay & Bisexual Men

In Uncategorized on June 27, 2010 at 3:39 am

UPDATE: The Black Aids Institute and the National Black Justice Coalition have joined GLADD to correct gross misinformation ref. black men.  HERE

Hughley and Shepherd tell big lie and here’s the proof.Remember, I told you back in 2007 that DL brothas were not the source, but Oprah, JL King and many others,to include black women, did a huge number demonizing down-low black males? Well, DL Hughley and Shepherd on The View continue the ignorance that’s pervasive within the black community.

Heterosexual black men with multiple sex partnersnot bisexual men who secretly have sex with men – are responsible for high rates of HIV among black women, according to a senior CDC official. “We have looked to see what proportion of infections is coming from male partners who are bisexual and found there are actually relatively few,” said Dr. Kevin Fenton, director of the National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD and TB Prevention. “More are male partners who are having female partners and are injecting drugs or using drugs or have some other risks that may put those female partners at risk of acquiring HIV.” Black women make up 61 percent of all new HIV cases among women in the United States and have an HIV prevalence rate nearly 18 times that of white women. HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death for black women ages 25-34, and 80 percent of new cases are contracted through heterosexual contact.


Call on “The View” to issue an on-air apology and correct Sherri Shepherd and D.L. Hughley’s misrepresentation of African American gay & bisexual men. This program reaches millions of viewers and ABC must ensure that its platforms are not used to perpetuate dangerous falsehoods that put our community in harm’s way.

ABC Contacts:

Brad Jamison, Vice President Corporate Initiatives
ABC Television Network

Julie Hoover, Corporate Communications Vice President
ABC Television Network
(212) 456-6641

Bill Geddie, Executive Producer
ABC “The View”
(212) 456-0910

Dear Mama – I’m Atheist and Gay!

In Uncategorized on June 27, 2010 at 12:15 am

Gosh,  I know that some things are best left untold, but then there are moments like this.

Sunday probably wasn’t the perfect time but it just slipped out; it slipped out due to total frustration. Mama can really pick till it hurts. “Mama, I don’t believe in God, Jesus nor Mary,” I said with a strong and assertive voice tone. Mama turned to face me with a look that would cut glass. I was thinking Lawd Jezzus, did I really just say that?   That quick moment of silence was mama’s declaration of war that would likely last forever.

Instantly  Mama hit the floor screaming repeatedly lawd jeezus what did I do wrong. I bent down to help mama off the floor  and outta no where came these words, ” mama I’m gay too; therefore, I’m not getting married to a woman, nor producing the grand kids you constantly badger me about over and over again.”

Now, mama had a look on her face that she was staring the anti-christ in the eye.   Mama collapsed back to the floor crying and screaming out the 23 psalm.   My older brother and Uncle came running into the kitchen, helping mama up and asking what’s wrong. She quickly jerks away  from me screaming get off of me you demon.  I quickly let her arm go and said y’all take her and I walked away.

I wasn’t a bit concerned about her well being; mama can fall out and roll around at church, so this little drama show gave me no alarm.  As I approach the door, I heard Mama shout for me to get out her house.  The son leaves and never returns to mama’s house.

The above is a true excerpt of a friends coming out to mama.  Yes, that was a bit much to swallow at one serving but he was tired of mama’s comments ref. girls, marriage, grand children, and that damn Black church.  Mama knew her son was gay, but never mentioned it, and most likely a non believer in the Lawd and Savior she calls her lover and forever deeply in love with.  “What I didn’t tell Mama that day was that she’ll never have a husband because she’s more in love with Jezzus than  she would ever be with a black man. I often wonder what she would’ve done. ”  Yes, the truth is a hard pill to swallow!

Dear Mama – I do love you, but…

I Just Want to Live by God’s Law

In Uncategorized on February 22, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Gods law is the only law. Allow us to return to live by it. When I die I will go to heaven to become a slave. Don’t be socked of alarmed for this is God’s law!

I am a descendant of Ham. I am cursed due to my dark skin to be a slave.

You see, slavery was established by decree of Almighty God…it is sanctioned in the Bible, in both Testaments, from Genesis to Revelation…it has existed in all ages, has been found among the people of the highest civilization, and in nations of the highest proficiency. — Jefferson Davis, President of Confederate States of America

There is not one verse in the Bible inhibiting slavery, but many regulating it. And this is how it all began:
In essence, Noah damned his son Ham for looking at his “nakedness” while Noah feel asleep drunk and naked in his tent. Ham is not directly cursed for his actions; instead the curse falls upon his youngest son Canaan.

Genesis 9:25-27: “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers. He also said, ‘Blessed be the Lord, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem. May God extend the territory of Japheth; may Japeth live in the tents of Shem and may Canaan be his slave’. ”
Christians traditionally believed that Canaan had settled in Africa. The dark skin of Africans became associated with this “curse of Ham.” Thus slavery of Africans became religiously justifiable. Author Anthony Pagden wrote:

“This reading of the Book of Genesis merged easily into a medieval iconographic tradition in which devils were always depicted as black. Later pseudo-scientific theories would be built around African skull shapes, dental structure, and body postures, in an attempt to find an unassailable argument–rooted in whatever the most persuasive contemporary idiom happened to be: law, theology, genealogy, or natural science — why one part of the human race should live in perpetual indebtedness to another.”

The doom of Ham has been branded on the form and features of his African descendants. The hand of fate has united his color and destiny. Man cannot separate what God hath joined.

Every 7th year is to be a Sabbath Year and male slaves are to be set free. However,female slaves are owned as property forever. – Leviticus

Jesus never condemned the practice and there is no record of him having said anything negative about slavery. I double dare you to find just one.

For all you descendants of Ham: Negros who currently use God’s Word to vilify gays and lesbians, silence thy self and exercise empathy – we’re all in the same boat under Gods law. Man has always justified God’s law to satisfy him! Get the point? Good! Let us unite!

1st Black, Gay, and Out President of Grinnell College

In Uncategorized on February 19, 2010 at 2:30 am

“What have you done today to make you feel  PROUD?”

BIG Kudos to Dr. Kington, his partner and two sons.

I never told anyone this before.

In Uncategorized on February 13, 2010 at 7:21 pm

by C. Crow
Sex therapist often hear the above statement. Breaking through the sense of shame many people feel towards their sexuality is often the most liberating aspect of sex therapy. Being able to acknowledge and discuss one’s sexual needs with a partner is a huge breakthrough for many couples. It is quite common for people to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when they begin Sex Therapy. However,with repeated exposure to the sexual issues at hand along with the non-judgmental encouragement of the sex therapist, the client usually feels more at ease and can discuss any aspect of their sexual experience.

Sex Therapy is a streamlined form of psychotherapy that focuses exclusively on the sexual functioning of an individual or a couple. Sex Therapy is the preferred modality for treating the psychosocial aspects of sexual dysfunctions such as erectile problems, painful intercourse, premature ejaculation, sexual aversion, lack of sexual desire, and difficulty attaining orgasm.

Before Sex Therapy begins, the client should undergo a complete physical examination by a doctor to ensure that any health issues contributing to the sexual dysfunction have been addressed. Many people do not realize that common diseases such as heart disease, obesity, diabetes, hypertension and depression can interfere with sexual functioning. After any underlying medical issues have been addressed, the doctor and sex therapist should work together to address the medical and psychological components simultaneously.

A Sex Therapist may work with many different issues depending on the training, experience and interest.

US sending $30 Million to Uganda. WHY?

In Uncategorized on February 10, 2010 at 7:25 pm

At grants.gov there is a $30 million grant opportunity for HIV/AIDS training in UGANDA under the Presdent’s Emergency Plan for AIDS(PEPFAR).  Yes, Uganda!  A country currently underway  to enact legislation to kill gays and imprison folks with HIV/AIDS.  Why not withhold the 30million from a country that overtly deny human rights of gays and people living with HIV/AIDS?   Even with the recent attempts to slightly amend the bill by Religious bigots, still, there remains such hatred  under the disguise of Religion?

Also, which four groups will receive this pot of money?  Will it be more faith-based groups agitating Ugandans to kill  and imprison gays and people with HIV? Pastor Rick Warren has most likely used an enormous pot of grant dollars to promote the Ugandan Kill Gays bill.  Let pastor Rick train his pals in Uganda with church offering. Ugandan pastor Ssempa, who recently rejected president Obama’s criticism toward Uganda, said he sold thousands of pastor Warren’s Driven Purpose book in Uganda. The US should not spend 30mil on Uganda untill the Kill Gays bill has been defeated.

The purpose of this program is to strengthen the capacity of the Government of Uganda to meet the increasing need for HIV/AIDS service delivery training including pre-service and in-service training. Funding will support efforts at the national level to plan, coordinate, implement, supervise and perform quality assurance for HIV/AIDS training. Although this announcement specifically refers to HIV/AIDS training, activities should be coordinated with principal non-HIV/AIDS stakeholders for an integrated approach, and training may be expanded to cover other priority public health concerns as appropriate.

Document Type: Grants Notice
Funding Opportunity Number: CDC-RFA-PS10-1022
Opportunity Category: Discretionary
Posted Date: Feb 10, 2010
Creation Date: Feb 10, 2010
Original Closing Date for Applications: Apr 08, 2010
Current Closing Date for Applications: Apr 08, 2010
Archive Date: May 08, 2010
Funding Instrument Type: Cooperative Agreement
Category of Funding Activity: Health
Category Explanation:
Expected Number of Awards: 4
Estimated Total Program Funding: $30,000,000
Award Ceiling: $2,900,000
Award Floor: $600,000
CFDA Number(s): 93.067  —  Global AIDS
Cost Sharing or Matching Requirement: No

Who is eligible?

Eligible applicants that can apply for this funding opportunity are listed Read the rest of this entry »

Black Transmen or Just People?

In Uncategorized on February 4, 2010 at 11:17 am

They’re people. Gender, race, sexuality are only parts of who people are. We can love people for everything that they are. This is one of the main themes of Still Black: A Portrait of Black Transmen, along with loving yourself and being yourself. This documentary looks into the lives of six African American people that have undergone female to male transitions or identify as transmales.
The film introduces people one at a time in an interview format, only it is artistically rendered by leaving out all questions and responses of the interviewer, leaving only the voice of experience. We hear people’s life stories from the comfort of their own homes.

Kylar Broadus from Columbia, MO used to be a corporate attorney, but after being fired by his company for announcing and beginning his transition he has become an activist for transgender and gender queer people. He tells the story of how hard it is to be something that you’re not and how he struggled every day to dress in “hose and makeup” to comply with his company’s conservative views on image. Read more.

A New Look At Black Identity That Include Gays

In Uncategorized on February 2, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Post Black: How a New Generation Is Redefining African-American Identity
Click to order via Amazon

by Ytasha L. Womack

Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Lawrence Hill Books (January 1, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1556528051

I discovered this book review over at AALBC.com Book & Film Reviews.
“In this book, I will not detail every pathological condition that ever existed in African-American life. You won’t read about the endangered black male, the destruction of the black family, or the welfare queen. It is not a diatribe on the proliferation of drug kingpins, crack addicts, gang violence, or unemployment in the inner cities. Nor is it a bashing of the single mother, a study of the absentee father, or a condemnation of troubled youth…

This book is not about the dearth of good black men… It is not a waxing nostalgic about the mythical days when real community values ruled and everyne marched to the beat of freedom. Nor is this a sentimental dedication to the thrills of thug life…

This book is not a call for black love. Nor is it a call for black leadership. And I’m not asking you to be a role model. This book is not about rap icons or sports figures. This book will not blame hip-hop for society’s ills. Nor will this book uphold heroes you already know about… This book is not black erotica. This book is not street lit [and] will not conclude that prayer is the answer.”
—Excerpted from the Introduction (pgs. 1-3) Read the rest of this entry »